mind: what is a positive psychologist & how can it help me? with deborah smith
There can be days where you feel like you are on top of the world, things are falling in to place, and you’re owning life. Then there can be the other days, the ones we don’t always put on our colour coded Instagram feed and don’t even always share with the closest people to us. Life isn’t always easy and we aren’t always honest about it. Sometimes it can be because some things are too upsetting to face or you really have no idea how they could ever be different. Therapy can seem like a daunting concept, opening up can feel like it’s showing weakness but what if all of that uncertainty was put aside and instead you woke up every day knowing that you had made peace with the things that play on your mind late at night. You’d have more energy, more focus and a feeling of freedom.
Deborah Smith BSc (Hons), MSc, MAPP, MBPsS
To understand the world of Psychotherapy I decided to speak to the incredible Deborah Smith BSc (Hons), MSc, MAPP, MBPsS who is a Positive Psychologist with over 25 years of professional experience as a psychotherapist working with both individuals and groups. I wanted to find out exactly what a psychotherapist was and how it could help us to feel better on the days when we don’t know where to turn.
Deborah has taught mindfulness and meditation for over 25 years internationally and across the UK. She runs corporate wellbeing workshops and residential wellbeing retreats which are open to all. As well as giving talks on wellbeing, happiness, mindfulness and mental health and is a guest lecturer at Roehampton University. Not only does she have a private practice in Bath, September 2019 saw the release of her first book ‘Grow Your Own Happiness – How to harness the science of wellbeing for life’ published by Octopus.
What is a Psychotherapist?
A psychotherapist works with individuals and couples helping them to deal with whatever issue they may have experienced or be experiencing, for example; depression, anxiety, stress, trauma, abuse, relationship difficulties, career problems, childhood issues, redundancy and general difficulties with life.
A psychotherapist applies research based approaches to help both them and the client to gain an understanding of the problem. They will then work on helping clients to improve their wellbeing, alleviate distress, resolve crises and increase their innate ability to solve problems and make decisions. The psychotherapist may also teach a range of coping strategies.
What’s the difference between a Positive Psychologist and a regular Psychologist?
A Positive Psychologist studies happiness, wellbeing and functioning at your best whereas a regular Psychologist will focus on how to help people when something goes wrong on a psychological level like depression, anxiety etc. Both are the scientific study of the human mind, how it functions and why we react in different ways, but they focus on different ends of the same scale. Depending on what you are needing it is good to ask if someone has studied both as some Positive Psychologists do not have a background in psychology or psychotherapy so their knowledge is limited and therefore their ability to help people is equally limited.
There can be so many situations in our lives that we don’t always want to share with people closest to us, how can seeing somebody like you help that?
Certainly there are times when one doesn’t want to share with people close to us for various reasons therefore having someone completely outside our life can be a huge benefit, enabling one to speak openly without fear of judgement. Having someone neutral, professional, unbiased and trustworthy, creates a safe and secure environment where one can explore ones feelings and situation.
““Nobody thinks they’re weak if they need to see a doctor – we need to stop thinking there’s a difference between physical health and psychological health” ”
What can you expect from your first session with a Psychotherapist?
The first session will give you an opportunity to see if you like, can relate and feel comfortable with the therapist. This is key to successful therapy – if you don’t feel comfortable then you are unlikely to completely open up and talk freely with the therapist. The first session will be about getting a general understanding of what the issues are that you want to resolve, or explore, and discussing whether the therapist feels they are the right person to help.
Opening up, working through things and facing the stuff that is making us unhappy really can open up incredible new doorways in our lives, why do so many of us shy away from it?
People can shy away from therapy for various reasons but the most common things clients have said to me that have held them back from coming were; fear of the unknown; fear of what therapy may uncover; feels to big or overwhelming; didn’t know where to start; and the hope it might go away. So clients often feel a massive sense of relief after their first session when all of those fears, worries and concerns are alleviated and/or addressed.
What are some of the common misconceptions of seeing a Psychotherapist?
‘I must be weak if I need to see a therapist’
However nobody thinks they’re weak if they need to see a doctor – we need to stop thinking there’s a difference between physical health and psychological health and shift to being able to be as comfortable saying you’re going to your therapist as you are saying you’re going to your doctor.
‘Everyone else copes, why can’t I?’
When people are having a hard time in life they often feel they are the only ones and that everyone else is fine. However when we open up and talk to friends and family we find out that it is much more common than we realise and we are far from alone in our struggles.
‘You only see a therapist if you’ve got severe problems’
This is just not true, in fact it’s best to see someone when something is a bit of a problem rather than wait till it’s a major problem. Obviously things are much quicker and easier to deal with if they aren’t long standing problems.
Fortunately the stigma around therapy is breaking down and people are much more open about mental health and do recognise the value of seeing a psychotherapist.
You’ve written an incredible book called ‘Grow Your Own Happiness’ tell us a bit about it…
Thank you. Grow Your Own Happiness is about wellbeing, it is a practical book with tests for measuring different aspects of ones wellbeing and happiness, exercises to help you increase your happiness, tips, techniques and case studies.
Each chapter introduces different aspects of Positive Psychology, I explain the science behind each aspect – why and how it will help people and then give specific ways of easily applying it into everyday life.
It is brilliantly illustrated so it’s beautiful too. Every part of the book is designed to increase your happiness!
connect with deborah & find out more…
visit her website: https://www.growyourownhappiness.com
buy her book: https://amzn.to/2J8VjkI
head to her wellbeing retreat: https://www.growyourownhappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Retreat-2020.pdf
