mind: why stress is one of the most powerful tools we own with chevy rough
Realising that the way that we think influences our world is one of the biggest realisations so many of us come to. From the repeating cycles that we can create, to the breakthroughs we have in our careers and relationships. Learning to become aligned with not only our body but our mind. Managing stress can sometimes seem overwhelming, especially with the current global situation but without it we wouldn’t thrive. Innovation and creativity can be found in the trenches. Growing through situations when life gets tough can end up being some of our most groundbreaking moments. When we really dig down deeply, honesty is at the core. That’s not only about being honest with the people around us but being honest with ourselves.
Chevy Rough is a Results Coach. After ten years working in the City, he found himself down a rabbit hole of high level stress and addiction. Choosing to step away from that world, he decided to use his life learned experience to help people and organisations get results and unlock potential. Selected by the BBC to coach ten people with Mental Health conditions on the award-winning documentary, ‘Mind over Marathon’, he has helped thousands of people across the globe align their daily actions to life aspirations. Making wellbeing simple vs the individual pressures and challenges people face in their busy lives. Chevy has worked from prisons to boardrooms and with industry-leading companies like Spotify, TikTok, Sainburys, Deloittes and Havas Media, while continuing to be an Ambassador for the Men's Mental Health Charity CALM.
You have overcome some incredible challenges in your life to be where you are now. What is the biggest lesson that you have learnt?
"Balance"
Now before everyone throws up in their mouth a little. Let me explain. If you want to live a fulfilled life or chase after your purpose, then I can guarantee you are going to have to do one thing, and that's step outside of what you know and into the fear of the unknown because the real growth only occurs outside of your comfort zone. How many times have you underlined a quote in a self-help book only to forget it's there within days? Your brain doesn't assimilate "easy."
Reflect on a time in your life you had to get through incredible hardship. Looking back, how many lessons can you say you learnt about yourself that's moulded your character for challenges moving forward? "Stress," "pressure," "struggle" and "frustration" are words we use to describe the moments that come just before potential growth. Your brain assimilates the things you work hard at on a much deeper level.
So back to balance. Picture a challenge in your life that is in front of you. Now imagine that challenge is on the other side of a door. Behind that creepy looking door is a dark room, full of fear, unknown emotions and uncertainty. To conquer that challenge, you're going to need to step into that dark room and fumble around for some time before finding the light switch. The secret is to keep one foot grounded on the known side of the door, grounded in your beliefs, your family, friends, sleep, good food, movement, journaling and so on. AKA balance!
Don't risk unlocking your potential by living in fear of the darkness. Stay rooted in the beliefs, people and tools you know keep you grounded and move towards who you've always warned to be.
During lockdown you have pivoted your business to reach people in the virtual world. How have things changed?
I would say the conversation around wellbeing is being amplified and made more accessible for people who usually wouldn't of had access to coaches. We have seen the internet flooded with podcasts, videos, blogs and low priced coaching models that opens up insight and support for people who are searching for help. Amazing! The challenge is there is a lot of noise and it can become hard to choose who to listen to and what identify what advice is for you. People don't do well with choice, especially when they are low on energy and high on stress. Ever tried to choose a healthy meal in the supermarket at the end of a hard day? It's hard. Decision fatigue is a big challenge for many. (Pro Tip: Buy your meals on the weekend, when rested and when you can make better decisions. Therefore when it comes to Thursday at 8pm, you can reach for what's already there. Zero choices to make!)
My advice is to choose your timeline wisely and how much of your energy you spend there. Instead of listening to a million opinions, choose one book on a subject that interests you or listen to a podcast you love. Write notes after every chapter, go for a walk after reading or listening, think about how what you've learned assimilates into your life and then discuss your thoughts with people you can debate openly around. Stop scrolling. Start thinking. This slow and steady approach is much more effective than constant words of inspiration that don't often take you anywhere.
Now if you struggle to do any of that. Stop listening to the internet and start listening to your "inside view," AKA your "gut feeling" or "intuition."
You can achieve this by creating more time for walking in your day, without headphones. Good examples of times would be, just before work, after a few hours of intense work, lunch and on your commute home, even if for twenty minutes. Even if you work from home, you can still go for a mini commute around your area on two feet. By slowing your world down and letting your brain process life, you will start to switch-off easier and access the part of your mind that is best equipped to help you problem-solve and move you towards your goals. Ever been for a walk in the park and had an idea come to you? That's your physiology changing and therefore giving you better access to the psychology that counts. (Pro-Tip: Take a notebook and pen and capture action items, ideas and recurring thoughts. Getting thoughts out of your short term memory and onto paper helps the brain ease the pressure of life for you.)
““It’s important to understand that your stress response isn’t a bad thing.””
You recently posted that stress was one of the most powerful tools you own - why do you think that is?
You're getting on with your day when suddenly you receive an email from your boss, saying she needs to speak. Your breath shallows, your heart beats faster, and all your mind can focus on is that conversation. You've been triggered. This trigger could be a million other things, such as doing a presentation, dealing with a delayed train or pulling your hair out as your kids are yelling and screaming around the house. It's tough in these moments and no one ought to feel overwhelmed by stress. Your first challenge is separating your internal reactions from the external triggers. Life will always throw you these stressful moments because that is the nature of life itself. Stress, adapt, thrive. You cannot control the order in which challenges crop up but with practice, you can control your response.
It's important to understand that your stress response isn't a bad thing. The reason your heart pumps faster and your breath changes is because your body is converting the energy you need to tackle whatever challenge is laying in front of you but we translate these signals as negative things. Also, the reason you focus on the task and nothing else is because of the concoction of hormones your body is releasing. Adrenaline and cortisol are priming your senses for action. Great, because it puts your attention where it needs to be and removes the distractions. Think about trying to hit a deadline in the past and how focussed you were on getting your work done. That's your stress response helping you achieve your goals. It gets better. Have you ever been stressed and just wanted a cuddle from your Mum? Or to speak to your best mate? That's in part down to the levels of Oxytocin your body is releasing into your system. The "hug hormone" is trying to tell you that one of the best ways for you to manage the stress is by being closer to your tribe. How amazing is that? Your physiology is setting up the psychology to keep you safe. That's stress.
The key is to remember that you need to be in a more rested state on the other side of stress. A quick walk after your chat with the boss, breaks during the day, breath, a good night sleep, a chilled out weekend and so on. Burnout occurs when you get stuck in first gear jumping from stress to stress, and your body gets pushed into a state of dysregulation. Stress, in dosage, is vital to getting us through conversations with bosses, training for a marathon or juggling all the plates we have to spin in life. Stress is energy and focus and once you harness the skill of managing that stress, you will begin to adapt and thrive.
The world is going through extreme change and challenge right now. What tools can be used day to day to help to navigate these times?
"Keep wellbeing simple."
There are a million tools and methods promoted by the internet and like many, you want the quickest and most effective solution. Understandably, our brains like to conserve energy and wherever we can spend the least effort, the better. The challenge here is methods are just ideas and one idea may work for you but not for the person standing next to you. For example, meditation can be an excellent method or tool; however, those with busy and anxious minds may struggle too close their eyes and just breath. Ever told a CEO who's lost a million-pound deal to chill out and meditate?!? You'd be out the door quicker than you can Oommmmmmm.
"If methods are many, principles are few.." Brian Mackenzie, Human Performance Specialist.
What Brian means, is that before looking for the right method or tool, you must understand and be aware of the underlying principles behind why you need it. That CEO is stressed, her nervous system is in a high gear (sympathetic; fight, flight, freeze) as it tries to give her the energy to deal with the immediate threat. At a fundamental level, all our CEO has to do is shift her system back down through the gears, to more of a rested (parasympathetic) state, this is the opposite direction of the fight, flight or freeze response. Once she does that, she can start to assess what went wrong, find better solutions (opposed to the most knee-jerk) and be able to show up for her family and be present at the end of the day.
Think about a time you've run for a bus or train. You kicked into high gear, your body gave you the energy to complete the task and then before you cracked open the train snacks you caught your breath and helped your system recover. The basic principle here is understanding the dance between the two ends of your nervous system. It isn't a switch you turn on or off, it's more like a dial that moves somewhere between the two, depending on the level of stress you encounter and rest you have. Your goal in life (the underlying principle) is to influence this relationship as best as possible by keeping your wellbeing simple.
Take breaks without your phone after intense periods of work, effort, struggle and frustration. What tools you use is up to you. Some may meditate for five minutes and others may prefer a quick fifteen minute walk outside. Now scale this up. With intense days, must come calm evenings and sound sleep. With switched on weeks, must come switched-off weekends and so on. It's the compounding of all the breaks you take to help your body recover and re-energise, that leads you to the energy and mindset required to deal with and overcome challenges. On the other side of those challenges lays growth, fulfilment and possible purpose.
““Stop listening to me, and start hearing what you have to say.””
You work very much with helping people to switch their mindset and behaviour, how are the two connected?
Let's look at one example. If you see success in life based on outcomes over effort, then what happens when you don't ever achieve your desired outcomes? Do you behave in a self-destructive way, eat poorly, push yourself too hard, sleep less or look at your phone more? All while you stop being present for others and all because you feel like you'll never be perfect and get to where you should be in life.
Imagine a pyramid and you've set your goal at the top of that pyramid. You think it's a straight line from A to B to get to that fixed point but the reality is it's more like a zig-zag that will land anywhere else but where you set your sights on. The problem is you had all your hopes and dreams on that outcome and now you feel like you're a failure and that failure is leading to those destructive behaviours.
What if instead, you had made a small shift in your mindset and rewarded yourself for the effort you put in? While accepting that things don't always turn out the way we expect, and that's ok. When kids are learning to ride a bike, it can take time and patience. If you were helping, I'm sure you would support them through that and reward their efforts, because you know that's what counts.
Addressing the lens we look at life through changes the way we engage with and react to the challenges that come our way. Shifting your mindset is a powerful tool for breaking through limiting beliefs. Once you feel that shift you are more likely to behave more positively because you are not trying to deflect from the negative feelings that arise.
Next time you are struggling with a problem, think back to a time where you had a similar challenge that you managed to overcome. What did you do? How did you act? What would you have done better? Now take those notes and try a different mindset and approach to tackling your problem (Pro-Tip: To be objective, it's essential to get out of our head for rational thinking. Write down your thoughts, talk to a friend or find a Coach to help you work through the challenge.)
If you learn to reflect before reacting, you will start to harness the mindset required for getting results while avoiding being stuck in old behaviours.
How important is exercise for your mind?
Depending on who you are, "exercise" can be toxic for your mind and bad for your body. Let me explain. Culture has over complicated the straightforward narrative that as human beings, we need to move to maintain a level of physical and mental health. But that movement should not come at a cost to your health, energy of confidence.
For decades you have been sold images of how your body should look and feel based on the purpose of selling products, from magazines through to gym memberships. This constant stream of marketing and social media primes how we all think and feel around important topics. Thousands of messages a day tell you that to exercise successfully you must go hard, sweat heavy, give it your all, never give up, meditate daily, stretch every morning, run far, run fast and breathe through it all as a Jedi Master.
Your success is defined by calories counted, abs found, PB's made, Olympic lifts, hand-stands, profound states of zen and your ability to do it all six days a week while holding down your actual life. Many, approach exercise with this all in mindset, only to find themselves hating all forms of exercise because it hurts and the only thing they've been consistent with is inconsistency! Bodies are injured, while minds retreat into a spiral of self-doubt. Now, this isn't everyone but it is a problem for a lot of people out there.
Movement is one of the lowest hanging fruits we have to manage our wellbeing. Going for walks helps us manage our weight and for many, our minds. Research shows that for some, up to one hundred and fifty minutes of walking in a week can have similar mental health benefits as antidepressants. My point is, you don't have so sweat hard and have a fancy gym membership to "stay fit." Eat right. Move more. It’s that simple.
You don't need me or research to express this, though. How many times have you felt better after some fresh air? Or come up with a new idea? Or solved a problem with a friend? Our body responds to the slow pace and our minds start to give us access to the tools we need to unlock our potential. I'm not saying going hard in the gym isn't great but remember that training is stress and comes at an energy cost. If you are not good at managing those effects on your system, exercise could be the very thing that pushes your system into a state of burnout or lose or motivation.
For anyone that may be struggling right now, what is one piece of advice that you would like to pass on?
If you are struggling, then I'm sure you would appreciate some candid advice. The type of advice you could genuinely trust that comes with no ulterior motives. These relationships are hard to find and in a time when many feel disconnected, having this kind of connection and feedback would be considered a real gift.
Well, you don't have to look far. It may be hard for you to feel and it will take some practice for you to connect with it. But the most honest relationship you have, and will always possess, is with your body. You've read this blog hoping to gain some insight into how you can improve your wellbeing and the best thing I can tell you is that you already know.
When your chest feels tight, your body is letting you know something important is happening to you and it needs your attention. It's trying to help. Now, it can be a tad dramatic because that response was given to you by evolution years ago to help you deal with pretty dangerous creatures the size of houses. Your body didn't get the memo that times have changed so it will go zero to sixty real quick, because it hasn't evolved the same way the world around us has. But you can help by slowing the body down before the mind takes over. Take a few breaths, go for a walk or talk to a friend. Simple methods that work.
Or maybe your body has been telling you its tired for a while now. You know you've been working hard and putting in late nights, so now it's time to help put energy back in the tank by sorting out that bedtime routine you've been promising to do. Inconsistent with the gym? Always getting injured? What do you think your body is shouting? Too much, my friend, slow things down for me.
Learn to sit and listen to what your intuition, instincts, gut feeling or whatever you want to call it is telling you.
Stop listening to me, and start hearing what you have to say.
connect with chevy and find out more…
visit his website: www.chevyrough.com
follow him on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewellbeingceo/
